Her worst fault was loving me. Caring about me ran counter to everything else she wanted to do, and ultimately only made it hard to ride home to unfamiliar couches.
An atheist in religious studies is like a Mossad agent in a mosque: he's not there for what everyone else is, and he's probably intending to hurt someone. He's also like a a donkey in a spinaret. I'm like a shark, I've just got to keep making analogies.